breathe in courage and breathe out fear
Yesterday I put up this motto on Instagram . Aw yes Instagram. The platform that has transformed so many small businesses profiles. It has allowed exposure in a way that no small business could have ever dreamed to of gained ten years ago and bonus its free!
This incredible platform has allowed businesses to connect, reach potential clients and customers in vast numbers. The advantages for this social network are endless. However and this is a big however, it in turn also forces business owners to be extroverts or pretend at least and this is where the problems begin.
Extrovert or Introvert?
As part of the business class I teach here at Flourish Sussex Flower School I discuss this idea of being an extrovert or introvert. Many people, my friends including, would probably think I am an extrovert. I appear comfortable with my friends, I like hosting parties and I am confident talking about subjects I feel passionate about. However I do a great deal of masking. I believe this comes from the fact that I was diagnosed with dyslexia when I was six. I spent a lot of time in my teenage years through to my early twenties trying to hide it from others. I was so worried about being labelled as unintelligent, so I hid it from the world and worked twice as hard to achieve exam results.
Although I may appear confident and do have a level of self belief (mainly due to me caring less as I have become older), I also deal with imposter syndrome. The inner dialogue that I have can be exhausting and my worst critic is myself. Sometimes that has it’s advantages. The level of work I produce is probably always quite high, as I am always trying to push myself to be the very best, as if I failed the inner voice would tell me it loudly.
I would like to add to this I am not like this with anyone else. In fact completely the opposite. I would never expect my kids to achieve so much and I am constantly telling them its ok to fail.
So despite the world maybe labelling me as an extrovert, there is no doubt in my mind and in those closest to me that I am an introvert and I am fine with this. But when it comes to running a business I believe it is harder for us introverts.
IGTV, REELS, STORIES, GRID
Can you feel the anxiety rising? As much as Instagram helps businesses it also requires you to ‘put yourself out there’. We probably know ourselves with the businesses that we follow and buy from, we like to be nosey. It’s not enough looking at the product anymore, we want to know a bit about the person behind the business, especially when it’s a small business. We want to hear their voice, see reels, see what they do in their daily lives. We live in a time where small business owners don’t just have to know their numbers, be the creators ,but they have to put their face out there and that is where anxiety, imposture syndrome can stop people from pursuing their dreams or give up on their business all together before its even begun.
One of the proudest parts of the school for me occurs on the Friday, the last day of our Foundation Course. We have a session about mental health. I state I am not expert, but I share my own experiences as person who has run two businesses, but who is essentially an introvert. Through this a discussion is formed. I am firm believer that sharing stories is a great way for people to realise that so many others feel exactly the same and that helps.
To feel less alone is the starting point to feel like maybe you can do it.
I am not saying that everyone on Instagram should come out and say, ‘yes isn’t this bloody hard and uncomfortable’, but maybe there needs to be more honesty and thats why I am such a fan of podcasts.
Podcasts
Podcasts are a great way of listening to high profile and successful people share their own experiences, fears and how they have overcome their feelings of inadequacy at points in their careers. We all have feelings of self doubt and imposture syndrome, but it is how we manage them which is the real challenge. What I have seen in my work at the school, is that there are so many talented and creative people out there, who are on the verge of turning away from their talent simply because that voice inside them becomes too strong and that feeling that everyone else is braver or stronger becomes too loud.I strongly believe that it would help everyone if we were tad more honest. It is difficult to do this on Instagram and perhaps we all like to see the shiny perfect life, but I am not sure it helps the business owners much and that is why I believe podcasts are so helpful.
I have been a fan of Fearne Cottons Happy Place since it started. It really has set a president on how conversation of mental health have to happen more. It’s a great podcast to hear some of the most famous people out their share their stories and dealings with anxiety.
I have recently discovered Conversations of Inspiration by Holly Tucker, founder of Not on The Hight Street and Holly & Co. I think every small business owner and new start up should listen to this. Hours of inspiring, real and honest conversation. It is so much more fruitful then just scrolling yourself down a rabbit hole on Instagram.
Action
If you are reading this and finding yourself saying ‘yes, yes, yes!!’ then probably you are on the same wave length as many of my students. But the question is once you recognise it within yourself, what do you do about it? If things are very dark and bad then please go to see a doctor or tell someone close to you. There is no shame in doing this. Life is difficult and when it gets to much asking for help is so important .
If you are feeling that that inner voice is getting too loud please do check out the podcasts above and also there are some amazing books out there. I am currently ready ‘Why has nobody told me this before’ by Dr Julie Smith. She also has an instagram page. This book has so many tips and I believe it should be read by everyone. It is such a good coaching to life.
Don’t let the inner voice stop you!
I guess the point of this blog is start a conversation. It is something we do at Flourish Sussex and I hope that if you are reading this it might help you. It is not easy to start a business or to enter a new creative industry, especially if you are an introvert. We are increasingly in an age that is demanding that we are all extroverts. But perhaps if we are more honest and just put our hands up and say, ‘yes I am an introvert, this is me. This is my creative business. I will share what I can in my own way, but no I am not going to do funny reels, as that is not me and you know what I am ok with that.’
By
Alicia
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